I think I can’t…I know I CAN!

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It’s great when you’re good at something; when you can just sort of wave your hand and things turn out magically wonderful. There is probably a degree of satisfaction in that, in being… well, good. ┬áIt’s freaking AMAZING when you’re no good at something but you keep doing it anyway. When you just keep smashing your head bloody-mindedly against your lack of skill, persevering, swearing, starting over and just doing it anyway.

Until. Until somehow, suddenly, unbelievably, you can. You can actually do the thing you couldn’t. What was impossible, frustratingly impossible is actually possible. And eventually, easy. Or at least do-able.

When that happens, it’s a different kind of pride. It’s a different sort of satisfaction than when you do something that’s no big deal. It feels good, it feels GREAT to do something you never dreamed you could actually do.

I’ve been working in my jewellery studio (also known as the spare bedroom where things with no home go to die). I’ve been working on new techniques; soldering, working with my torch and solder paste, sheet solder, bits and pieces and angles and fire and smoke and butane and mapp gas (I hope my insurance guy isn’t reading this…).

And I love it. I even love that I can’t remember a damn thing I learned 22 years ago when I took a silver smithing course. I am literally teaching myself as I go, with the occasional help of YouTube and the kind folks out there who share their wisdom.

I love doing. I love learning and doing. It’s a powerful rush for me to accomplish something, even something small. I do measure my days by jobs done & tasks accomplished. A day like today when I have actually accomplished something difficult, something new, something that makes me proud…that’s a very very good day.

And actually, I think the swearing helps the process. Really!

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Holy Crap – I’m FLYING!

wonder womanWhen was the last time you did something for the first time? I read that question in some magazine’s “finding personal satisfaction” or such quiz recently. It gave me pause; I don’t think they meant trying a new recipe or walking the dog on a different route. I think there’s a time in your life when you do LOADS of things for the first time, then the firsts kind of taper off as you get older and more experienced. And more nervous, and anxious, and self aware. Bungee jumping seems freakin’ awesome when you’re 19, young and single, but throw in a couple of mini-me’s and it’s downright irresponsible.

So… 3 kids, all teenagers now and getting ready to launch. And what have I done lately that I never did before? Not a lot, except use a more intense eye cream and get botox.

Mexico…zip lining. Yes. I drove an ATV, rode a whole bunch of really high ziplines, did a bit of rapelling and I FLEW LIKE FREAKIN’ WONDER WOMAN! That’s what I said. I rode 3/4 mile on a zipline in Puerto Vallarta that has you suspended on your belly, arms by your sides, flying through the tree tops at 60 miles per hour. Bam! Never did THAT before! That was pretty great, actually. Pretty damned great actually (at least aside from the Go-Pro camera strapped to my helmet, staring me in the face at alarmingly close range)!!

That was really scary… scary and exciting and new. And they were right, those quiz writing people. Doing things that are scary and exciting and new is a zap… a jolt.. a blast of power and a reminder that there’s a whole lotta living left to do.

I am 46 (shhh). I am young, strong, healthy and a tiny bit braver than I was 5 minutes before I flew like Superman. Now I just need a cape, and I’ll be unstoppable.