I am Whatever YOU say I am?

You’re a bitch. You’re mean. You’re kind. You’re smart. You’re stupid. You’re creative. You’re an ass. You’re so thoughtful. You’re so inconsiderate. You make me feel happy. You make me so angry. You make me feel stupid. You make me feel small. You make me feel threatened. You make me feel insignificant. You think you’re so smart. You think you’re all that. you You YOU!!! ME Me me.

I am exactly what you feel I am. I must be… you are so certain of your facts. If you are having a shit day and you need something I can’t give you, I’m a bitch.  If I seem confident and you’re struggling with your self esteem, I think I’m the freakin’ queen of the universe. If I’m dressed up and you’re dressed down I obviously think I’m better than you. If I speak up when you don’t, I’m pushy.

I can’t win. I can’t even fight. I don’t even know there IS a fight… I am just going along, today, tomorrow, every day. Just like you. I don’t know why you react like that. I don’t know how to NOT be what you think I am.

We talk a lot these days about bullying, about accountability. Is it possible (bear with me for a moment) that YOU, with whatever your life contains, are experiencing ME through your own filter? If I am obviously so superior, maybe it’s that you actually feel inferior and there is no way I can talk to you that will make that change?  If I am pushy, maybe you really are just noticing that you aren’t able to ask for what you need and I can? If I am dressed nicely and walk with confidence and you’re in your sweats feeling blue, does that really translate to me thinking I’m all that and a bag of chips?

If you are blue, you are blue. If you feel like shit, that’s you. If you are not ready to stand up in public and ask a question or voice a thought, that’s your reality. It doesn’t make you less. It doesn’t make me more. It doesn’t necessarily mean I’m bossy or mean or bitchy , either.

I am not responsible for who you are.  I will perceive you to be who I perceive you to be; doesn’t make my opinion the truth. Same for you. So how about if you stop a moment next time before you declare me to be something negative and make sure it’s really me you’re talking about.


Keep your opinions, Ugly Canadian!


Image courtesy of Graeme MacKay,

I seem to have tangled myself up in a very heated debate with the American right wing, or at least a handful of folks who are pretty pissed that I chose to participate in a discussion that’s none of my business, being a Canadian and all. I responded to a post on a wordpress blog; the reblogging (I now understand) of a letter written by a marine to US Senator Dianne Feinstein. My comments were questioning the adamant refusal by so many in the US to register their weapons. I am one of those who supports the idea of a gun registry both in Canada and wherever guns are frequently in the hands of private citizens. It seems fair to me that, just as I register my dog, my car, and my trailer I should be willing to register a deadly weapon in my possession.

My comments were not appreciated, on any level. There is no debate. There can be no opposing views. There is no room for discussion or dissent. I should keep my $*#! socialist views to myself and keep my nose out of their country’s constitutional discussions. One comment urged me to get back to my Tim Horton’s and my maple syrup. Fair enough.

But it’s such a different way of viewing the world, so very different. Most Canadians I know are pretty engaged in what’s going on in the US as well as Canada. We feel invested in the political situation in the US and we have opinions about what we hear. So much of our media and culture are American that it’s sometimes hard to really draw a line between “us” and “them”.

So. I guess I’ll do my best to keep my views on this side of the border.