I think I can’t…I know I CAN!

Image

It’s great when you’re good at something; when you can just sort of wave your hand and things turn out magically wonderful. There is probably a degree of satisfaction in that, in being… well, good.  It’s freaking AMAZING when you’re no good at something but you keep doing it anyway. When you just keep smashing your head bloody-mindedly against your lack of skill, persevering, swearing, starting over and just doing it anyway.

Until. Until somehow, suddenly, unbelievably, you can. You can actually do the thing you couldn’t. What was impossible, frustratingly impossible is actually possible. And eventually, easy. Or at least do-able.

When that happens, it’s a different kind of pride. It’s a different sort of satisfaction than when you do something that’s no big deal. It feels good, it feels GREAT to do something you never dreamed you could actually do.

I’ve been working in my jewellery studio (also known as the spare bedroom where things with no home go to die). I’ve been working on new techniques; soldering, working with my torch and solder paste, sheet solder, bits and pieces and angles and fire and smoke and butane and mapp gas (I hope my insurance guy isn’t reading this…).

And I love it. I even love that I can’t remember a damn thing I learned 22 years ago when I took a silver smithing course. I am literally teaching myself as I go, with the occasional help of YouTube and the kind folks out there who share their wisdom.

I love doing. I love learning and doing. It’s a powerful rush for me to accomplish something, even something small. I do measure my days by jobs done & tasks accomplished. A day like today when I have actually accomplished something difficult, something new, something that makes me proud…that’s a very very good day.

And actually, I think the swearing helps the process. Really!

Image

Swirling Sterling, pearls and tumbled green glass

photo (2)     photo (1)

More work for an order going out this weekend. It’s nice to be back in the studio after almost a year of waiting for the creative forces to slap me upside the head again. I missed it, I’ve discovered. There’s a calm that comes from sitting quietly, door closed, turning beautiful things into different beautiful things. I never know when I start working with a stone or a bead or a chunk of silver or glass exactly what I’ll end up with, and that works best for me. I generally like the “as I go” creations better than those I design with pen and paper first. More spontaneous, more fluid somehow. Anyway, I will bid farewell to this and all the recent work I’ve done tomorrow… glad to deliver the order, always a bit melancholic to see things go out the door.