Frenchish, Spench & Voice Mail Punctuation

 

shut-up-siriI can no longer leave a voice mail. I am not kidding you. If you have received a voice mail from me in the last two years it probably sounded something like this:

Hi comma this is Deborah period.  Thanks for getting back to me about that project semi-colon there are lots of details to be sorted out period Why don’t we meet for coffee this week to discuss question mark SHIT I did it again oh crap ignore this message!!  jeez ahhhh… SORRY!  I don’t even know how to leave voice mail anymore shit (I hang up red faced).  If YOU have been the bewildered recipient of such a message please comma accept my apologies exclamation mark

Seriously.

Damn you Siri! I have figured out precisely how to tell Siri what to text on my behalf. She and I don’t always speak the same language (even without the enriching cab-sav) but we do okay.  I used to be a medical transcriptionist (data entry of patient notes verbatim from dictation cassettes recorded by doctors not gifted in penmanship), so I am well versed in the need for oral inclusion of punctuation (comma) when dictating (period). Clearly, that advanced skill is not working in my favour when it comes to real life communication.

I can speak Spanish fluently… when I’m drinking. At least I think I am speaking Spanish fluently, but hey… it’s hard to be sure after the third glass of red. It’s the same with French… you should hear my Merlot fuelled Francais… c’est incroyable. No, vraiment, c’est incroyable.  What’s really fun is when I get the languages mixed up… I’ve heard of Franglais and Spanglish… what is a word for a grape infused language blend of the two languages of love? Fromantish? Spench? Frenchish? I like Spench… how about Siri influenced voice mail messaging though… do we need a name for that? Surely I’m not the only one who’s doing this…and now I’m doing it all day every day, dead sober, on voice mails I can’t take back.

So as you can plainly see, I have a gift for languages… for learning and incorporating new languages into my life. I also think maybe me and Siri need to take a break Period. Shit. Sorry.

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